Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
