In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
