there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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