Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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