Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
