just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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