He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
