I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
