Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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