it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My first STD was from a foam party
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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