I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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