I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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