so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
