I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So much Jack, so little girl.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
