just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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