If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
