It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize