So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
