They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
