There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
