I'm really into asian looking animals
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I could fuck to npr.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
