Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
