..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
