Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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