I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
