Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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