There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
