Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
