The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
