I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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