DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
