I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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