So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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