there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
