her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
