I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
