Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
