He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize