Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
