Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
