Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize