i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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