Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
