I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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