She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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