a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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