The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize