dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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