i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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