Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
