Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
