The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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