do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
