I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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