You're my little dorito
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
