He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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