My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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