btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
