So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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